food, poll, discussion, love & friendships, poll, Random Entry, Uncategorized

Double Career|Wearing Two Hats

I keep seeing this question floating around, so I got a little inspired: Can a woman be a Family & Career woman? Many of times both men and women believe it is not possible without one or the other suffering, and for others it is seamless [ or fake it to be seamless lol]. Why should this be? Of course Parenthood in general can be pretty difficult, but is being a woman with kids any more difficult? Should she not have help? And being that my Nigerian behind has to think this through, would my career have to take a back seat to me being a baby making machine [gives a major side], I HAVE QUESTIONS and I NEED ANSWERS!!

answers

I need to gauge how hard this may or may not be. I mean, motherhood is hard and all, I really do not want to give up my career, but I do live in this United States of ‘Murica and their maternity policies and child care are straight up basura. Furthermore, families usually have to be two income in order to make it [I have a brunch problem, forget shopping] comfortably, so my behind has to really work anyway! WHO WILL WATCH THESE CHIRREN! AGAIN:

answers_sheldon

So what do you think? Can family and career co-exist, or would one need to take a back seat? Take a poll, it is anonymous… I promise!

Forum is up for discussion, because I do want a male perspective as well. You know how it goes.

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

20 thoughts on “Double Career|Wearing Two Hats”

  1. *Speaking from a male, single and no kids point of view*
    … there’s this new thing called working single parent…. so double welding parenthood and career is doable…depending on the career path and time management.
    I have a career…I’d expect my wife to have a career and for us to both raise the kids.
    Wambam

    Liked by 1 person

      1. …but men are too lol
        Roles and responsibilities.
        Not everyone is qualified to be a parent and not everyone is qualified to have certain jobs.
        Some women are blessed with the opportunity to balance both job and family while some just can’t; either situational or by choice.
        A woman (man) who can do both is highly sort after….

        Like

  2. I believe a woman can have both… However, not efficiently. The roles will both have to give…coming from someone who had a major boss for a mother, I grew up having to playing the role of the mother and filling in the gaps she was leaving behind.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. if @PhenomenallyMe is right, then we really have to revisit the ongoing debate around the existence of gender wage gap and “a gender glass ceiling” for women in the corporate environment. The predominant opinion has been that observed wage discrepancies between male and female employees with identical aptitude and qualification is down to discriminatory renumeratory practices by most corporate organisations; thesame argument is extended for the lack of female top executives in most the blue chip companies around the world. Opponents of this view however maintain that this phenomenon can be explained away by looking at productivity indicators that show that on the average, men tend to be more productive than women in the work place much to the chagrin of many feminist movement (as it implicity implies male productive superiority).

    I am of the view that Work life vs family life is always inherently competitive for anyone (not just women) and we must come to the realization that for one to prosper, the other must suffer. A woman who decides to both pursue a career and raise a family must be ready to make the hard choice about which to prioritize and make peace with the negative consequences of their decision. If you choose to give priority to family and kids, then be ready to receive lower relative pay an endure a lower/slower career growth trajectory. I know this might sound a bit harsh but the truth is that career vs family (kids) choice is never going to a question of optimizing to obtain a win-win situation (anyone that suggests otherwise must be saying that based on “alternative facts”…sorry Kellyanne Conway); rather this decision has and will always remain one of satisficing, in which we prioritize one to the detriment of the other.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You should also realize that providing such support could have unintended serious catastrophic consequences for the demography of the United States … To the best of my knowledge, only Japan and Canada provide the sort of support that you talk about. I think the Japanese government even pays women to have kids while Canada offers ridiculous maternal and even paternal leave DURATIONS WITH PAY!!! But these are countries with declining populations due to low birth rates. Implementing a similar policy in a country like US will only lead to another baby boom. The resultant generational spike is likely unbalance the population structure and consequently overburden social infrastructures, welfare systems and lead to long-term dependency problems for subsequent generations.

        Like

      2. Having mandated paid time off or maternity leave is not going to be detrimental to the country… In fact I believe it would increase productivity and happiness which is better for the overall quality of life.

        Like

  4. Lots of women actually do this already. What I think gets overlooked when talking about this is the support system around the woman. We as men think we balance career and family pretty easily but that’s because the woman handles the bulk of the family related tasks, and by that I mean task typically viewed as “a woman’s job within the home”. I say that to say, some support from her man would go a long ways in enabling her efforts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You better preach! There are a lot of super women out there holding their husbands down and killing it at work. There has to be an equal balance of support for one not to suffer.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right!!! I am over here like “GLORY”! and hats off to the men that are not afraid or judge a woman that does have a demanding career and see them as less “family oriented”

        Like

  5. Kanmy, thank you!!!! Support does go a long way to achieve this “balance”. I think it just floors me a bit when: 1. some expect you to do both, or they believe it is not achievable at all, so they just give up one or the other [men and women’s thoughts].

    Like

  6. If by career we mean “owning a business” I think it would be possible to be successful at both. However if you have a demanding boss (like mine), something is going to suffer. I have a friend with 3 kids and she is at PTA meetings, and all of the extracurricular activities, basketball on Tuesday , cheerleading on Wednesday, girl scouts, boy scouts, science projects etc, homework, cooking etc.. Then there are wifely duties..another full time job, then trying to stay healthy and fit, and have a social life.. Some women seem as if they are doing it but are suffering in silence.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. To clarify, I am not saying that women cannot strike a balance between family and work… Evidently there are lots of amazing women who do this perfectly (my boss is one and I admire her greatly for that). My point however is that once a woman finds herself in a situation that requires her to juggle pofessional vs family responsibilities, such balance (no matter how perfect) usually puts them in a less than optimal position relative to a situation where they commit exclusively to one. The professional life seems be the one that takes the biggest hit but that might only be because very few women would be daring or indiscreet enough to publicise their domestic challenges.

    My boss for one is an amazing mom and grandma (from the much I know); everyday I see how those instincts combine with her intelligence and experience to make her the best (wo)man manager I’ve ever worked with. The reality however is that her less talented, experienced and qualified peers are 2 to 3 steps ahead of her on the career ladder Mostly men and a few single women.

    As regards the need for more support, I think the challenge has always been how to come up with policies that provide such support for women while also providing some kind of economic benefits to their employers or at least minimizing the economic impact the organisation might likely suffer from such work vs family balance. A policy that fails to strike this balance will not gain traction in the private sector except it is legislated and enforced. Given that excessive legislation cost businesses money, governments are generally reluctant to impose them so as not to discourage private sector investment. I believe a heterodox branch in economics known as feminist economics studies this sort of of issues in greater detail.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Policies and domestic support. Some women may not be as fortunate to have family or friends that can help them out (ex: picking up the kids if you have to work late, or a reliable baby sitter), then as for many of us living stateside (as pointed earlier) our jobs are not mandated to let us have enough PTO (for men and women) or maternity (and paternity) leave. It is in that sense where the states are definitely lagging behind.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s