love & friendships

Women Sleep With Men to Survive | Did she lie?

 

Click Here to Watch Boduong’s Interview with Amanpour 

I just read that Moesha Boduong has apologized for her special she did on CNN with Amanpour stating that SHE sleeps with a married man to pay bills [she lives in Ghana] and I am wondering… DID SHE LIE? but did i lieAnd to be quite frank, I do not necessarily know what are her true woes, but I cannot judge her when I am knowingly getting paid 75% less than a man for the same job here in the United States, let alone in Ghana… like ‘wa gime’?! I also so not believe she should say sorry to any of us [maybe to her married boyfriend’s wife, but definitely not to us]. I am in no way condoning sleeping with married men, however, who am I to judge if a woman is really does do such acts because she needs to eat or needs a roof over her head? Let us unpack this situation, and I mean the elephant in the room situation.

What Moesha is talking about is nothing new under the sun, I mean NOTHING. Back home women are not even seen as equal to a man in the workplace, and majority of the times cases such as SEXUAL HARASSMENT are not even discussed in human resource departments. Maybe this speaks numerous volumes that women are so much objectified in the workforce, that is has become a norm to be a kept sidechick. How many times do we hear this and turn blind eye and usually villanize the woman? If it were to be easy to not have to marry for stability or sleep your way to the top, then maybe the Moesha’s would not even exist, am I right or am i right?

Now, am I mad at CNN for shedding such an ugly light? NO! I am not. We as Africans 3d17687f46db64c1b5eddaaaa0c163d0--be-like-meme-hoes-be-likedefinitely have pride, and never want to own up when confronted with some bad aspects that are clearly a problem. It is time we face the ugly truth. I wrote about the difficulties of being a woman in the workforce from past experience (check out my contribution regarding this topic on Ivery Arie click here for article ) when I tried to relocate to Nigeria, so what Ms. Boduong is not far fetched.

What we need not do is continue this hypocrisy, the men that indulge in such things as breaking their vows should be the ones shamed, not the women that are simply trying to make it in life period. Do I condone it, again NO, but I do see who are at fault, and I do understand. Vows should not be broken, I cannot stress that enough, but we cannot deny that this is a common occurrence. The façade that we as a community try to portray as if everything is angelic and gravy needs to stop. Maybe effective human resources departments to handle cases like sexual harassment in the work place, or for women to have a fair chance in the work force could be a start. Our places are not only in the house; we can be in the work force, we can be in politics and we definitely should not and do not only sleep ourselves to get what we want.. What is your take on this interview and what she said? Is it that bad that many have no choice but to depend on a man?Really want your views on this 🙂

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

love & friendships, Uncategorized

What Does Valentine’s Day Mean to You? | #QTNA

Hey guys! Aren’t you surprised at my consistency? Yea, me too, becsuse I’m tired lol. So Valentine’s Day ♥ is around the corner and I observed (while single and not), that many people in our community (I am talking people of colour) behave two ways, yes ✌🏾. So I posed a question on twitter (@nnennayalator.. Hit that follow button 🔳 please lol) :

Twitter Question that Needs Answers!

Now this is not limited to just African men, but I really do want to know. I rarely see women complaining (I mean even if we don’t have a lover, we make time for family or friends and keep it pushing), BUT if you bring it up to a man… An African man… The response is usually not pleasant. [Disclaimer: this is only meant for those this case applies to, if it does not.. Enjoy the rest of the article from a different lens 😊].

Now, some men did respond and gave me answers like ‘it is a forced holiday’ or ‘the actually holiday should not be celebrated or a holiday at all’, etc, but then should all holidays be treated like this? Unless you are a practicing Witness, I wonder why the push back from this one holiday? If you are in a serious relationship with someone that loves Valentine’s Day, should you break up? These are questions that need answers!

Women chimed in as well! I had a good friend basically say

“Be with a partner that has common interest”

and I totally agree with this, and if you love your partner as you said you would, wouldn’t you do something that makes them happy? If they are a lover of all holidays, and especially Vals, wouldn’t their happiness make you happy too? It is one day, one lol! It is not like someone is asking you to give birth or anything [insert petty smirk here].

I still want to hear your opinions (keep it respectful) and I also have a poll for you guys (yay?). Let’s get some interaction going, shall we? Catch you all next Thursday!

INSIGHTFUL POLL BELOW:

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

love & friendships, Uncategorized

I’s Married Now Y’all |Traditionally | Part Trois|Finale

I almost did not make it y’all. I am really trying to be consistent with content and bring in the last post of the traditional wedding blog series. Of this trilogy I discussed the summary and the planning components of me planning my traditional wedding from afar (I am based outside of naija). I discussed some of the vendors, showed pics, and dịscussed my mental breakdowns (yes, more than once… Will discuss further down bruv), and how it was still all worth. Now I want to take you on the day of and subsequent days, come along friends.

Trad day was nothing short of amazing. Really do not have much more than that. It was F-A-S-T! If I could slow it down, or experience Trad day in slow motion I would! My friends and family were around and got to experience a monumental milestone in I and my chocolate drop’s lives, I we got to experience an important cultural moment in our lives, and we had fun doing it! It also brought two families together which was amazing because I gained a whole family ♥.

What made things even special were my friends that were able to partake in such an important moment and got to see Nigeria 🇳🇬! It was honestly like a big field trip for my friends y’all with me, chocolate drop, our families and @theifunanya (hey boo) as the tour guides. We did have a rough time with air travel, really the airports. If you need to do travel and have the time (especially going east) travel by road or just fly to Owerri and drive rest of way. Y’all, nobody will be believe me that I cried in the middle of the airport… Yes… Friends and I were about to beat everyone up and catch some hands 👐🏾. It was a very stressful moment, but we survived 6+ hours later.

We went to Owerri, Lagos, and really trotted the country. Peep some of the hotels we stayed at places to check out:

Hotels:

P. Noble (Afikpo)

La Amistad (New Owerri)

Villa Toscana (Oniru Victoria Island)

Things to Do:

Club Opium (Owerri)

Club Cubana (Lagos)

Cafe Lydia (Victoria Island)

Thought Pyramid (Victoria Island)

Tarkwa Beach (Lagos Island)

Lagos Market (let me find out actual name, but they gave great finds FOR (EVERYTHING)

So yes, I feel like I can conquer the world after pulling that whole traditional wedding and trip with all the challenges and people to enjoy it and create memories. If you have any questions about traveling to Nigeria or just statements, hit up the Comments!

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

Here are more pics:

PS: cake by kencake of @PaparazyEvents 🎂

love & friendships, Nigeria, Series, travel, Weddings

I’s Married Y’all | Traditionally | Part Deux

I guess I will make this a more consistent habit with posting since my hiatus provided me some inspiration for this blog series. Since I am so kind and my timelines are full of folks getting engaged, might as well tell my experience of planning my traditional wedding, maybe i can save a few or two from some headaches that you are bound to have, mkay? Before getting into the meat and potatoes of my unique experience planning my “Destination Traditional Wedding”, I want to give a quick… I mean very quick background of why I decided to travel 5,373.6 miles for my Traditional wedding because this process was not beans, and I kind of did not have a choice (hey dad!)

Now I am my father’s first child and he let me know from jump that I had no choice but to go home and do my traditional wedding… AS IN… collect all your friends that can make it, plan your heart out from your base [DC Chillin’] and meet all of us back home (he said it with so much ease and seriousness… almost like mufasa) [freeze blog] Yall want to know a cute fact? So Ej and I are from the same village. Our dad’s were friends, we crossed paths before (he remembers… I so dont), but homie turned Trad Hubby and I were meant to be, as corny as it sounds [unfreeze blog]. Being that our relationship was so effortless you would think planning this traditional would be a cake walk, right?!

Let us just say I had numerous breakdowns all the way up to the Nkwanwite [Igba Nkwu in some parts of Igbo land, etc], and there is nothing that can save you from the stress, not even my trusty wedding planning app @joytheapp ( you can check out our website for the trad at withjoy.com/elejeplusejike(Click here) if you need ideas or just want to look at pics, you can request the code there). The app was good for passing along information and organizing yourself, even if no one wanted to use it, it is still an awesome app to use for wedding planning (shameless plug). I really wanted to make my trad as digital as possible, which should make everyone’s and my life easier and more organized, and BOY DID PEOPLE RESIST lol. I also wanted to change the RSVP culture we have, because after the fact I found out that my people thought RSVP stood for Rice and Stew Very Plenty (I am serious), but hey it was worth a shot and my church wedding will be RSVP enforced, with security (hmph!)

If I have any advice for any budding future trad brides planning a traditional wedding from a distance it would be to constantly check on your vendors, have someone on ground (a good team would do, I had no wedding planner lol), and enjoy the ride! Because as hectic and stressful as it was, I did not even notice or care during the occasion. I got to experience 1 of the 3 weddings that I have to have, and I would not have it any other way.

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

Check out some more pictures from the traditional wedding:

WhatsApp Image 2018-01-22 at 11.56.55 AM
celebrity mua: @isabelmakovers | stylist: @misschiefcouture | wedding beads: @veevboutique
love & friendships

What is the benefit of being a Nigerian!

I hope his sentiments are genuine… these killings should not be tolerated

WakeUP Africa!

A country with so much potentials but nothing to show for it.

The British and American citizens are proud that their individual country’s are responsible for their safety in any country that they happens to be in! The American state owes them the responsibility to come to their rescue in difficult times or when their life if in danger or threatened.

The government takes responsibility for the life and safety of all its citizens,whether home or abroad. It is the sole responsibility of the government to provide all the essential infrastructures,to better and improve the life and productivity of its citizens.

Still happy that you were born a Nigerian?

Being an American/British citizens accords you the privilege to travel to up 147 countries without requiring visas. Both countries and others offer their citizens entitlement to welfare support, when out of job and you are provided with decent accommodation when you…

View original post 761 more words

love & friendships

I’S MARRIED Y’ALL | Traditionally |Part Un

WELL HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO PEOPLE! I know the gaps between my post are as wide as the river Nile and the Grand Canyon, but Y’ALL your girl had to plan a traditional wedding in none other than…. Take a guess- N I G E R I A!!!! Now, I do not know if I want to set myself up and try to do a documentary/vlog because you all know I am tired [lol], I mean, if someone wants to drop some coins for production about my unique journey then by all means 🙂 .

Now, I planned my traditional wedding by myself, and I did receive help along the way and I definitely had to plan a lot with using @whatsapp as a collab tool (shout out to whatsapp, I should be an ambassador for yall), and did have to disturb my fiancee and friends on ground back home to make things happen. Luckily m dad and step mom were on the @whatsapp tip and were able to make things happen with them dollars (holla Parentals! lol).

So my thing was using group chats to effectively disperse information and using @pingexpress to transfer monies. My traditional wedding did take place in Nigeria so I had to find a better way to send money other than western union (such a drag lol and now I have a naija account I good schmoney). I really had to be thorough since some of my friends that were attending and participating in my traditional (trad henceforth) were American, I wanted them to have the best experience as possible- because you know… it is Nigeria. I can attest that nothing can really prepare you for Naija, you just have to bear it, be frustrated, and pray you do not get arrested, fight, or kicked out of the country (that would be hard, but at our pace.. very possible lol). So many Things happened that I have to break these posts into parts [series] but I will continue to name the tools I used for organization and the hiccups that I (and friends) experienced on our memorable trip. See you in the next post! [Here are some sneak peek pics from my trad]

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

 

love & friendships

Buhari must send his pythons back to the bush! The two face of a president.

Take a look at some insight of what is going on in Nigeria involving the Igbo people

WakeUP Africa!

The president and the commander in chief, of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria, recently sent his army in all its full might to intimidate, terrorise and to kill unarmed civilians in the south-Eastern Region of Nigeria, the habitation area of the Indigenous people of Biafra

The killings of these unarmed igbo youths, the intimidation that most of them suffered in the hands of the Nigerian army, as seen on diverse documented evidences on social media, is still being celebrated, all over the southwest and the northern part of the Nigeria.

While the president in his five minutes speech talked about how the unity of the country is none negotiables, those in the north and the southwest of Nigeria, are still celebrating the deaths of other Nigerians in the southeast of the same country! “The unity of Nigeria is indeed none negotiable”.

The question that remains to be…

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