Women Sleep With Men to Survive | Did she lie?

 

Click Here to Watch Boduong’s Interview with Amanpour 

I just read that Moesha Boduong has apologized for her special she did on CNN with Amanpour stating that SHE sleeps with a married man to pay bills [she lives in Ghana] and I am wondering… DID SHE LIE? but did i lieAnd to be quite frank, I do not necessarily know what are her true woes, but I cannot judge her when I am knowingly getting paid 75% less than a man for the same job here in the United States, let alone in Ghana… like ‘wa gime’?! I also so not believe she should say sorry to any of us [maybe to her married boyfriend’s wife, but definitely not to us]. I am in no way condoning sleeping with married men, however, who am I to judge if a woman is really does do such acts because she needs to eat or needs a roof over her head? Let us unpack this situation, and I mean the elephant in the room situation.

 

What Moesha is talking about is nothing new under the sun, I mean NOTHING. Back home women are not even seen as equal to a man in the workplace, and majority of the times cases such as SEXUAL HARASSMENT are not even discussed in human resource departments. Maybe this speaks numerous volumes that women are so much objectified in the workforce, that is has become a norm to be a kept sidechick. How many times do we hear this and turn blind eye and usually villanize the woman? If it were to be easy to not have to marry for stability or sleep your way to the top, then maybe the Moesha’s would not even exist, am I right or am i right?

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Now, am I mad at CNN for shedding such an ugly light? NO! I am not. We as Africans definitely have pride, and never want to own up when confronted with some bad aspects that are clearly a problem. It is time we face the ugly truth. I wrote about the difficulties of being a woman in the workforce from past experience (check out my contribution regarding this topic on Ivery Arie click here for article ) when I tried to relocate to Nigeria, so what Ms. Boduong is not far fetched.

Continue reading “Women Sleep With Men to Survive | Did she lie?”

2018 Quarterly Update & Events|Wass-good?

Hey y’all, how is your new year going so far? Hit any of your resolutions yet? gave up yet? Ask for the restart button yet? Yes, No, maybe so? Well, if your year has been a disaster so far, do not be so hard on yourself, and I say this to echo to myself because I need to take my own advice lmao! I said I was going to update everything Thursday and y’all…. that was too damn hard. I really could not keep up with work, social life, plan a wedding, and a plethora of other projects that I am involved in… but I PROMISE… I will do better for the rest of the year if you stay tuned to this paid space of interwebs lol.

Aside from having a successful traditional wedding and an upcoming “white wedding” as we Africans like to call it, I have some events that you all should peep and participate in if you have time in your busy shehdules (spelled that wrong on purpose… sound it out lol):

  • BrunchCon: April 22, 2018 click here to purchase tickets I will be there live and direct… hopefully I will not be to turnt to not snapchat and do ig Live. But it is open bar and bites from all the vendors and I am sure I will have a blast and so should you! Yall know i am the self proclaimed #champagnechampion.
  • UIU DMV Jollof Jam: April 28, 2018 Click here to purchase tickets This will be fun! but do get your ticket before they sell out. Not everyone can cook some good jollof rice, and here some skills will be put to the taste buds test.
  • Igbo Amaka Cultural: Keep this organization on your radar. They will be having a talk show (which involves yours truly on a couple of episodes), and touches on some interesting topics concerning Igbo Culture. If you are looking to understand, learn, or cure some curiousity of a certain ethnic group in Nigeria… this is one of the orgs to look out for. Check out their website as well (drop a donation or two, or three lol) Click for Igbo Amaka Cultural website here

I definitely will have the best brunch spots in DC to check out (definitely bottomless ones will be in there), and an update on “The Safe Sphere”- a podcast that I collabed with @Ndidi_love. With all of the events and projects in the works, this year was not too bad. Cannot say the same for those in the lime light.. seems to be a cheating season in the first quarter… but hopefully it gets better.. for them? Anywho.. lol resolutions and ish never work out for me.. and if you are not hitting your resolutions… IT IS OK!

What Does Valentine’s Day Mean to You? | #QTNA

Hey guys! Aren’t you surprised at my consistency? Yea, me too, becsuse I’m tired lol. So Valentine’s Day ♥ is around the corner and I observed (while single and not), that many people in our community (I am talking people of colour) behave two ways, yes ✌🏾. So I posed a question on twitter (@nnennayalator.. Hit that follow button 🔳 please lol) :

Twitter Question that Needs Answers!

Now this is not limited to just African men, but I really do want to know. I rarely see women complaining (I mean even if we don’t have a lover, we make time for family or friends and keep it pushing), BUT if you bring it up to a man… An African man… The response is usually not pleasant. [Disclaimer: this is only meant for those this case applies to, if it does not.. Enjoy the rest of the article from a different lens 😊].

Now, some men did respond and gave me answers like ‘it is a forced holiday’ or ‘the actually holiday should not be celebrated or a holiday at all’, etc, but then should all holidays be treated like this? Unless you are a practicing Witness, I wonder why the push back from this one holiday? If you are in a serious relationship with someone that loves Valentine’s Day, should you break up? These are questions that need answers!

Women chimed in as well! I had a good friend basically say

“Be with a partner that has common interest”

and I totally agree with this, and if you love your partner as you said you would, wouldn’t you do something that makes them happy? If they are a lover of all holidays, and especially Vals, wouldn’t their happiness make you happy too? It is one day, one lol! It is not like someone is asking you to give birth or anything [insert petty smirk here].

I still want to hear your opinions (keep it respectful) and I also have a poll for you guys (yay?). Let’s get some interaction going, shall we? Catch you all next Thursday!

INSIGHTFUL POLL BELOW:

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

I’s Married Now Y’all |Traditionally | Part Trois|Finale

I almost did not make it y’all. I am really trying to be consistent with content and bring in the last post of the traditional wedding blog series. Of this trilogy I discussed the summary and the planning components of me planning my traditional wedding from afar (I am based outside of naija). I discussed some of the vendors, showed pics, and dịscussed my mental breakdowns (yes, more than once… Will discuss further down bruv), and how it was still all worth. Now I want to take you on the day of and subsequent days, come along friends.

Trad day was nothing short of amazing. Really do not have much more than that. It was F-A-S-T! If I could slow it down, or experience Trad day in slow motion I would! My friends and family were around and got to experience a monumental milestone in I and my chocolate drop’s lives, I we got to experience an important cultural moment in our lives, and we had fun doing it! It also brought two families together which was amazing because I gained a whole family ♥.

What made things even special were my friends that were able to partake in such an important moment and got to see Nigeria 🇳🇬! It was honestly like a big field trip for my friends y’all with me, chocolate drop, our families and @theifunanya (hey boo) as the tour guides. We did have a rough time with air travel, really the airports. If you need to do travel and have the time (especially going east) travel by road or just fly to Owerri and drive rest of way. Y’all, nobody will be believe me that I cried in the middle of the airport… Yes… Friends and I were about to beat everyone up and catch some hands 👐🏾. It was a very stressful moment, but we survived 6+ hours later.

We went to Owerri, Lagos, and really trotted the country. Peep some of the hotels we stayed at places to check out:

Hotels:

P. Noble (Afikpo)

La Amistad (New Owerri)

Villa Toscana (Oniru Victoria Island)

Things to Do:

Club Opium (Owerri)

Club Cubana (Lagos)

Cafe Lydia (Victoria Island)

Thought Pyramid (Victoria Island)

Tarkwa Beach (Lagos Island)

Lagos Market (let me find out actual name, but they gave great finds FOR (EVERYTHING)

So yes, I feel like I can conquer the world after pulling that whole traditional wedding and trip with all the challenges and people to enjoy it and create memories. If you have any questions about traveling to Nigeria or just statements, hit up the Comments!

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

Here are more pics:

PS: cake by kencake of @PaparazyEvents 🎂

I’s Married Y’all | Traditionally | Part Deux

I guess I will make this a more consistent habit with posting since my hiatus provided me some inspiration for this blog series. Since I am so kind and my timelines are full of folks getting engaged, might as well tell my experience of planning my traditional wedding, maybe i can save a few or two from some headaches that you are bound to have, mkay? Before getting into the meat and potatoes of my unique experience planning my “Destination Traditional Wedding”, I want to give a quick… I mean very quick background of why I decided to travel 5,373.6 miles for my Traditional wedding because this process was not beans, and I kind of did not have a choice (hey dad!)

Now I am my father’s first child and he let me know from jump that I had no choice but to go home and do my traditional wedding… AS IN… collect all your friends that can make it, plan your heart out from your base [DC Chillin’] and meet all of us back home (he said it with so much ease and seriousness… almost like mufasa) [freeze blog] Yall want to know a cute fact? So Ej and I are from the same village. Our dad’s were friends, we crossed paths before (he remembers… I so dont), but homie turned Trad Hubby and I were meant to be, as corny as it sounds [unfreeze blog]. Being that our relationship was so effortless you would think planning this traditional would be a cake walk, right?!

Let us just say I had numerous breakdowns all the way up to the Nkwanwite [Igba Nkwu in some parts of Igbo land, etc], and there is nothing that can save you from the stress, not even my trusty wedding planning app @joytheapp ( you can check out our website for the trad at withjoy.com/elejeplusejike(Click here) if you need ideas or just want to look at pics, you can request the code there). The app was good for passing along information and organizing yourself, even if no one wanted to use it, it is still an awesome app to use for wedding planning (shameless plug). I really wanted to make my trad as digital as possible, which should make everyone’s and my life easier and more organized, and BOY DID PEOPLE RESIST lol. I also wanted to change the RSVP culture we have, because after the fact I found out that my people thought RSVP stood for Rice and Stew Very Plenty (I am serious), but hey it was worth a shot and my church wedding will be RSVP enforced, with security (hmph!)

If I have any advice for any budding future trad brides planning a traditional wedding from a distance it would be to constantly check on your vendors, have someone on ground (a good team would do, I had no wedding planner lol), and enjoy the ride! Because as hectic and stressful as it was, I did not even notice or care during the occasion. I got to experience 1 of the 3 weddings that I have to have, and I would not have it any other way.

Ciao,

Nnennayalator

Check out some more pictures from the traditional wedding:

WhatsApp Image 2018-01-22 at 11.56.55 AM
celebrity mua: @isabelmakovers | stylist: @misschiefcouture | wedding beads: @veevboutique

What is the benefit of being a Nigerian!

I hope his sentiments are genuine… these killings should not be tolerated

Wakeupafrica360!

A country with so much potentials but nothing to show for it.

The British and American citizens are proud that their individual country’s are responsible for their safety in any country that they happens to be in! The American state owes them the responsibility to come to their rescue in difficult times or when their life if in danger or threatened.

The government takes responsibility for the life and safety of all its citizens,whether home or abroad. It is the sole responsibility of the government to provide all the essential infrastructures,to better and improve the life and productivity of its citizens.

Still happy that you were born a Nigerian?

Being an American/British citizens accords you the privilege to travel to up 147 countries without requiring visas. Both countries and others offer their citizens entitlement to welfare support, when out of job and you are provided with decent accommodation when you…

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